Know Your Worth

The optional theme for The Fit Dish (hosted by Jill Conyers @ JillConyers.com, & Jessica Joy @ TheFitSwitch.org) is…a habit I’d like to create this summer!

Before I get to that, I just wanted to thank everyone for all their support + encouragement on yesterday’s post! Your words made my day and filled me with all sorts of warm fuzzies. <3!

I hope to not be going anywhere, but just wanted to throw out an advance warning that I might be writing less later on this year. Or who knows?! Since I’m going on so many adventures, maybe I’ll write so much that y’all (heh) get sick of me! I guess only time will tell!

(Let me just preface that the rest of this post was written in a fit of righteous indignation.)

Mayhaps I have archaic views on relationships, but I think a relationship is a partnership of sorts. You’re a team; s/he’s your partner in crime. You love, support, and encourage one another. You take on the world together.

(I may or may not have just wanted a reason to share this song. <3 )

I had a long, long talk with a friend over the weekend because of some major mishaps in the realms of traditional parental views (heh) on cultural + gender roles, marriage, and all that lovely stuff.

She was telling me that all that seemed to matter to her family was the dude’s family background. What about how he’ll treat her? Whether or not their inherent beliefs and views clash with one another? Whether or not they’ll even get along? (And what does it matter how great the guy’s family background is if he happens to be a sociopath?)

It didn’t sit well with me that as the female, she was expected to fulfill a billion different “requirements” whereas the guy just had to have a Y chromosome, so I was already pretty livid on her behalf. This was fueled even more so after she finished her [first] conversation with him, where he started off with this lovely gem:

I’ve had a problem in the past with girls who are I guess attached to their families and want to live near them. Would you move here?”

(Alright, deep breaths, everyone.)

There are so many things wrong with this that I don’t even know where to start, but I will try, hopefully without popping a blood vessel.

1. Props to you for actually knowing what you want, but who the eff asks that during the very first conversation?
2. Have you ever heard of compromise? Factoring in another person’s wants?
3. How is it that you made it this far in life with so little regard for others?
4. As someone who’s gone through med school fairly recently, shouldn’t you at the very least understand that where we end up for residency isn’t entirely up to us? There is no real guarantee that a place you theoretically want to go to will rank you as highly as you rank them. (She explained this concept to him multiple times, to deaf ears.)
5. Seriously, are you effing kidding me?

I’d completely understand if this were a long-term, committed relationship and there was a job change or some sort of circumstance that involved moving elsewhere, but to just throw that in during the very first conversation and to refuse to listen to anything she said regarding why she couldn’t (with good reason) exactly promise that right off?

No.

I used to be a doormat, not to the point where I’d let people walk all over me, but more often than not, I would stay silent even when things were bothering me, because I wanted to avoid conflict and/or didn’t want to bother people with my problems. (I’m sure this situation didn’t help any either.)

Thankfully, I have since grown a spine, and although I will still sacrifice what I want for the greater good of the group, I do stand up for myself and what I believe in. I voice my opinions and object to things that I am against.

I also believe that I deserve awesomeness, so my “habit to form” this summer, and for the rest of my life is this:

Have standards.

You are allowed to have your own thoughts, opinions, and preferences, and yes, they do matter.

No one is “entitled” to you.

Never let someone make you feel that you have to prove your worth to them.

You are worth so much more than living your life as someone’s backup plan. Find someone who never stops choosing you. [This should be mutual, in case that’s not obvious.]

Relationships require a give and take. If you’re always doing the giving and they’re always doing the taking, it’s time to kick em’ to the curb.

We are not antelope. (I’m so glad she walked out. Why do people like that still exist?)

Use what you have and what you know to create the life that you want and deserve.

• What’s a habit that you want to create [this summer]?

Click the image to read my other Dish The Fit posts! :]

 Know your worth. <3