How To Tell If Your Parents Are Setting You Up

After the awkwardness that was the Christmas church concert in 2007, you’d think my mom would never try this again. But no. I was wrong. This is my wonderful guide on how to tell if your parents are setting you up (at least, this tends to be how it works in my world).

Change Taiwanese to Cantonese SDA and you’ll have my mom’s current standards for me. My dad’s standards are probably along the lines of “non-serial killer any-Asian bordering any-race with a job.” (Credit.)

Let’s backtrack a bit–back in 2007, I was home for winter break. My mom had been telling me great things about a guy at church for the past 3 months, but I was way too busy to really take note of it, so let’s just fast-forward to that Christmas concert.

I was catching up on life with a friend I hadn’t seen in months, and my mom came out of nowhere, death-gripped my arm (she’s tiny and I’m way stronger, so I have no idea where that strength came from), and pretty much dragged me over to where this dude was standing.

Farrah, this is _____. _____, this is Farrah. You’re both 18!”

Then she walks away.

I kid you not.

Our conversation went something like this:

F: …So…I’ve heard a lot about you from my mom.
D: I’ve heard a lot about you from your mom too.
F: …
D: …

Needless to say, that went swimmingly. My mom refuses to acknowledge that this ever happened now because she had a few more interactions afterward with this dude and concluded that he didn’t have the greatest attitude and wasn’t that considerate.

I guess enough years have passed that my mom felt that a part 2 wouldn’t hurt. This happened over my winter break (aka the only vacation I had all year), and I feel mildly betrayed, as the time that I get to spend with friends is already severely limited.

Here’s how I deduced that it was coming:

They start voicing their concerns regarding your lack of a love life.

(Because it’s not like med school takes up a lot of time or anything.)

After my first interview this year, my dad called to tell me he was happy that I was finally getting somewhere with my life, but that he was concerned because I had terrible luck with dating and my only serious relationship didn’t work out. (…way to salt the wounds, dad.)

Your relatives start asking about whether you’re seeing anyone.

During my drive to one of my interviews, my aunt called to ask me if I was going out with anyone. Then she decided to give me dating advice. (“Be nice to them, don’t worry about money, and don’t be too picky.”)

You are suddenly required to have dinner with family friends but your sibling is not.

This isn’t entirely uncommon, because I do actually go with her to get lunch/dinner with her friends sometimes because they’re awesome, but it’s never been forced. I agreed to this one a couple weeks ago because I thought it was the same sort of thing, but it started getting fishy when I asked if I could skip it to see a friend I hadn’t seen in years. She got pretty pissed.

They get increasingly vague when you ask for more details.

After that rather unnatural response to my wanting to peace out on dinner, I started getting kinda suspicious, so I started asking more questions. I was not allowed to leave after dinner either, because “they were coming over afterward to talk.”

F: …why do I have to stay if they’re your childhood friends?
M: They traveled from so far away!
F: …but they’re your friends.
M: They want you to stay!
F: Why?
M: (changes the subject)

You get confirmation from your sibling.

My brother’s one of my best friends, so since I was getting absolutely nowhere with my mom, I asked him.

S: Yep.
F: …So why didn’t you tell me?
S: She forbid me from telling you. Don’t tell her I said anything.

I rest my case.

• If you’re a parent, have you ever tried to set your kid up with someone? How did it go? The guy was nice enough, but if my mom never tries this again, it’ll be too soon.
• If you were on the receiving end like me, care to share your story? :]