Ways To Win My Heart

One of the questions I like to randomly throw out there is, “What would be your proposal food?” (Not a big surprise, since food makes my world go round, right?) For the record, “proposal food” means the food that’d make you say yes to a marriage proposal. Obviously, there are other factors involved in the agreement, but just work with me here.

This question was inspired by my discovery of the fact that a girl at my school had an engagement ring booklet that she’d made with her best friends. They keep each of their booklets updated with pictures and how much it costs and their best friends are responsible for letting their significant other know about it if they’re about to pop the question. I can’t fathom these sorts of things because I’d much rather spend the would-be-wedding-money on a dinner with my closest friends/family and then elope on a really awesome honeymoon.

Recently, I reconnected with a high school (“elementary school friend” would more accurate; I’ve known her for 17 years) friend and if I find someone super cool that I want to spend my life with (and vice versa, obviously), maybe we’ll be her first pop-up wedding customers. :O She explained the concept to me and it sounds so random, it’d make for a really awesome story in the years to come. :O She puts together pop-up date nights, so if you’re ever in the Orange County area and want to do something different with your significant other, go check it out! I kinda want to go out with someone just to go to one of these, haha. They look really fun! :]

But (as always), I digress. In this whole “proposal food” conversation, Sylvia told us that her proposal food would be roast duck. Mine is salmon sashimi. (The others are undecided at this point.) I turned down a marriage proposal in February because of this.

A past conversation from grad school went something like this:
F: That’s horrible! Why would you say such a thing!?
M: Good job. Now she thinks you’re the devil incarnate.
F: Well, not quite so extreme, but really, that’s horrible.
I: I have homemade waffles that I’ll share with you.
F: …Hm. That makes things slightly better.
M: …I feel like food solves a lot of problems with you, Farrah. A couple seconds ago, you thought he was terrible, but you throw some waffles into the picture and you’ll be like, “Well, no one’s perfect.”
F: But it’s true! No one is! :D!

 

In all seriousness though, aside from the whole sharing-food-with-me part (that’s the cliff notes version!), these are the qualities I find the most important. Aside from having chemistry (which really can’t be helped–you either have it or you don’t), the rules are pretty simple–have a good heart and be a decent human being. More detail needed? Read on!

• How he treats his family/other people/animals
  If he’s an unwarranted asshat to any of the above and can’t treat others with respect, it stands to reason that he probably won’t respect me. I don’t want kids, but I do take extra consideration into how he treats kids/older people, because as a blanket generalization, those two groups tend to require more patience. :o
• The company he keeps (aka friends)
  I’ve legitimately stopped liking someone because I highly disliked one of his closest friends. This might sound terrible, but I really do feel that the friends that you have are a pretty big reflection of who you are and what you’re like as a person. So if the person you spend a bunch of time with happens to be a rude and inconsiderate sleazy fratboy-type, I don’t foresee things working out, because as much as I’d like to believe that it doesn’t rub off, I really think it does. D: Our friends would have to approve of each other, har har.
• Passion/Goals in life
  I don’t necessarily care that they have their entire life planned out, but my type-A-ish tendencies can’t take it if there’s nothing in his life that he cares about/is working toward. If he’s re-contemplating what he really wants to do with his life, I can and will support that, but having no goals/plans/priorities tends to lead to stage-5-clinger status, which I’d love to avoid at all costs.
• Confidence
  Can’t deny how attractive this is! :O I chalk this one up to believing in your own self-worth, and I throw “taking care of yourself” (e.g. living a healthy lifestyle, being active, not eating complete crap all/every day) into this category too. There’s definitely a fine line between being confident and being cocky, but at the same time, if you don’t think you’re awesome, why should anyone else? (Insecurity also reminds me of stage 5 clingers. :[ )
• Understanding
  Or at least tries to be. One of the qualities I like the most is someone who’s very 细心 (the best english translation I can come up with for that is “attentive/observant”). I really like people who are considerate of others and notice the little things. :D
• Desire to share
  One thing I miss the most is when you reach that point where you find random things throughout every day–amusing anecdotes, hilarious movie lines, great songs–that makes you think of them because you want to share it with them since you know it’ll make them laugh/make their day, etc. (This kinda goes hand in hand with a similar-ish sense of humor.)
• Best friend potential
  Self-explanatory. Who else would I want to explore the world/go on awesome food adventures/adopt a zoo(-ish) of pets with? :O! If I like someone enough, even the most mundane things become interesting, and I give absolutely no shits what we actually do; I just like spending time with them. :]

For the record, the “he” I’m talking about here is purely hypothetical, because, with respect to my goals and future career, I have to be somewhat selfish right now, and would be a terrible significant other to anyone at this point in my life, what with me moving every couple months and being busy pretty much all hours of the day. I doubt anyone would take too well to, “Well, I think I should be free for about 45 minutes next Thursday; I can pencil you in then and we can maybe have lunch while I get some reading done?”

(I’m somewhat exaggerating though; if someone means enough to me, I make time for them. :)