So I’m not sure if my brother reads this at all, but he discovered its existence over winter break when I mentioned it to him, so on the offchance that he comes by, hello, good sir, and happy birthday again! Lemme know when you decide between the rifle or the snowboard!
For the record, if ya didn’t know, “fairyburger” is one of the billion nicknames he gave me. I’ve decided to just embrace it, so if you were wondering where my seemingly-random blog name came from, that’s how it came into being! That nickname dates back to 2003 or so. :O
I don’t know if I’ve talked much about my brother at all in here, but he is super cool/one of my closest friends. We used to fight all the time when we were kids (we’re only 13 months apart, so it was pretty much a given that we’d attempt to beat each other up regularly) and I have numerous scars on my hands from said fights, but when I was in 5th or 6th grade, we made a pact to stop fighting and have basically kept to it ever since.
He was also my partner in crime when we used to skip Chinese school to go on wilderness survival expeditions in the back fields of Ohlone (more on that in another post). This is not to say that we haven’t gotten pissed at each other since then. In high school, he told me he had a dream where “you were being hella annoying, so if I’m uncommonly hostile towards you today, I’m sorry in advance.” I’m sure we’ve had bouts of annoyances with him too, and there were times where we’d be super mature + passive-aggressive and would blast music that we knew the other person hated just to spite the other. For the most part, however, we get along really well. He cheers me up when I’m in down and consented to be my scapegoat for the clutter around the house for the past 8 years or so, and I’m a pretty good listener + make him cool food, so it all works out. :O
I called him up this morning at some crazy unearthly hour (I believe it was 3:45 a.m. over here but still 11:45 p.m. over there since they hadn’t had to switch their clocks back yet and we talked for a good while. I was telling him about how Friday was the first time I’d purchased groceries since January, and so I’d been eating Romaine lettuce like nobody’s business for the past…day.
S: My, aren’t you the paragon of virtue. One whole day?
F: Shut up! I just bought it yesterday! >:[
Back when we were in high school and somewhere near my 16th birthday, I remember being in a particularly crappy mood, so I went for a walk to my favorite nearby park, completely oblivious to the fact that my brother had left the house with strict orders to my mom to keep me from going anywhere that day. As luck would have it, however, one of my friends, Frances, happened to be walking to my house and saw me, so she came along with me. Since Frances is basically one of the most random individuals to ever grace the planet (she’s awesome), she managed to eventually convince me to go back home without any suspicions whatsoever. We were at the park talking about lawns and dogs or something to that effect.
Frances: I’ve never seen your backyard.
Me: It doesn’t even have grass.
Later, she was asking me what movie it was that we always watched at my house [Rush Hour 2]. Her gift of extreme subtlety is a plus, and because she’s always so random, you never suspect anything. Or maybe that’s just me.
Frances: Do you wanna go watch it?
Me: Okay, sure!
Frances Are you sure though? You have a book and everything, I’m like…disrupting your reading time.
(2004 was the year I decided to read a new book every day.)
Me: No, it’s okay. I finished a book already, haha. I was just bored, so I started another one.
Frances: Okay then. Let’s go!
It turned out that my brother had been arranging a super-secret surprise birthday party for me and had somehow gathered a crap ton of my friends over to celebrate without my ever noticing anything. My friends are pretty amazing at keeping secrets, and he’s really good at planning/coordinating/networking/knowing everyone. :O
I think it’s kinda cool that as the years have gone past, he can basically just start two words of a sentence and I’ll already know what he’s about to say or ask. :O This isn’t exactly true the other way around though.
F: Oh yeah, I have something to tell you.
S: Uh oh.
F: Wait, why uh oh?
(He thought I was going to tell him that I was coming out of the closet.)
F: Wait, but what if I’d really been about to say that?
S: I guess I’d become an only child.
F: …Dude, that’s horrible. ;_;
S: Just kidding. I don’t think that would actually happen.
Although I partially blame him for my lack of skill in anything remotely feminine-associated (when I was little, I mostly hung out with him and two of our family friends–also both dudes), I think it worked out. He’s also one of them stereotypical overprotective older brothers, so one of my male friends who liked me was once chased out of our house with the Fang of Baelin. (…) Chris and I are still friendly with each other, but he still remembers that day with some vivid detail, and I’ve been apologizing ever since. Sam’s has also been known to say things like, “Five feet apart please. Who might you be?” and “So I hear you were interested in my sister,” to my male friends. When I was going out with Secondary Ex, he said he was going to judge whether or not he was a good person based on his reaction picking him and his best friend up from Burning Man. (If I recall correctly, they spent about a week in the desert and had not showered for about that long.) ._. It’s made for some interesting times.
Here are some more awesome quotes from him over the past several years.
- (whilst giving me a really tight hug) “You’re like, ‘Somehow this no longer feels sentimental…but rather, a struggle for survival.”
- “You should carry a protection device. Hey, by the way, I can get you a 1 million volt taser for $80. You can tap a burly young man in the prime of his youth and he’ll be rendered comatose for at least half an hour.”
- “My objective was to stay up later than you so I could use your computer and play Starcraft.”
- “How did that happen? You didn’t even punch me that hard. You must have a lot of chakra.”
- “Sweet dreams! …Say ‘sweet dreams’ and I’ll shut up, damnit. SAY IT! I know you can hear me! Talk to me!”
- “Allow me to discuss with you the turmoil of your tormented soul and alleviate the burden upon your mind.”
- “I’m not responsible for any scalp injuries you may and probably will obtain.”
- “So this is what it feels like to be a sloth.”
- “Cover yourself up with this. Gorby might be watching.”
- “Fine then. Speak to me of your troubles.”
- “Oh, really? I never knew that. I’m going to take a shower now, to wash away all the sins.”
- (“Hey, what do you think a relationship should be like?”) “Comfortable. Just someone you can have fun with. Someone you’re comfortable being with. Often mistaken for friendship. But you find yourself missing them more than you should.” (pause) “After a cross-examination survey…double-blind experiment throughout…my group of friends, we decided that you shouldn’t ever go out with a hot girl. Hot girls are better for hooking up. If you want a relationship, you should go out with a cute girl. Those are the ones that you ‘bring home to momma.'”
Good times. :D
So here’s to you, my favorite sibling! :D I hope you have an awesome day! I’ll make you food when I get back onto the cool (figuratively, heh heh) side of the coast again! :]
