nightmares

You know that little voice in the back of your head? It came into play yesterday.

We haven’t had class this entire week because we’re doing our GTLs (Genital Teaching Lab) + OB Simulation labs. I’ll get to the former some other time, but yesterday was my last session (OB Simulation), and the one I was most apprehensive about. Most people found this weird/slightly hilarious, because you’d think I’d be more worried about doing pelvic exams and the like on real people (male + female), but no, I’m actually more afraid of delivering fake babies.

I didn’t even want to include a picture of the type of mannequin we really used. Image from Denver School of Nursing site.

It’s because I’m deathly afraid of childbirth. It’s probably the one thing in medicine that I am least excited for, and I’m really, really glad that there are niches for people everywhere, since it [hopefully] means I won’t have to do much of this in the future. I’d rather choose surgery over OB, and I’m completely uninterested in surgery. ._. My friends like to watch my facial expressions/how much I squirm whenever we watch any kind of video that deals with childbirth, pregnancy or pap smears. It’s a little sad that I still haven’t learned to stop twitching/recoiling in horror.

My time slot was at 9:15 a.m. yesterday, and we were required to be there 15 minutes early for the orientation. I somehow managed to walk across the room and turn off all my alarms while still (apparently) asleep. Somewhere in the middle of my elaborate dream, a little voice (THANK YOU GOD!) in my head asked, “Farrah, you’ve been sleeping for an awfully long time…shouldn’t you be up by now?”

It was 9 a.m. I freaked the eff out. (It generally takes me ~15 minutes to drive to school.)

I made it there by 9:12. (Thank goodness that I’ve long mastered the habit of getting absolutely everything ready the night before.)

I’m also incredibly thankful that my friends are awesome people (one of them called to make sure I was alive and texted me so I’d know where the orientation was being held + the other mentioned that I didn’t live in town) and that our GTA is such a nice person. After asking if anyone knew where I was, she said that since it was so foggy this morning and I was driving through the mountains, I might be running a little bit late. Then she decided that she “really needed to check her facebook for 5 minutes” and then reluctantly started the orientation, but talked really, really slowly.

Twas a nerve-wracking morning. I’m so glad that I’m surrounded by such great people. I’m pretty sure my preceptor thought I was a completely incompetent nutcase, but at least I didn’t miss the entire session? ._. My dad thinks my subconscious was just trying to help me out by having me skip the entire session so I wouldn’t be traumatized. He might be on to something there. I appreciate your efforts, subconscious, but please don’t do this to me when it involves a grade!